by Paula Tursi, Director of Reflections Center for Conscious Living

 

As I sat chatting with a very sad and anxious friend the other night I found myself looking to my own life and speaking to her from the deep wisdom of knowing– which was born of years of FREAKING out!!!! I tried to explain as she sat, tears running down her face, that all we can do is trust that when we aren’t getting what we want its because there is a better plan out there for us. That over years I have come to believe that the episodes of life are already written, and it is merely our job to stay present and learn the lessons they hold for us to grow and mature as conscious beings.

 

The truth is we learn as we do, and change reluctantly. It’s always curious to me what we, as humans, believe we are holding on to when we resist change. What are we so afraid of losing? Why can we never see that there might be more to gain instead of living in this constant worry of impeding loss? In the case of my friend it wasn’t possible for her to see that her life might turn out for the better from where she was sitting. I could see in a few months time it might all become humorously clear that what she wanted so badly was not what was best and perhaps not even what she really wanted in light of the new gifts life might offer. I knew that to be true from times in my own life where I shut my heart to the unfairness of it all only to later dry my tears with humility and gratitude for what it eventually offered me.

 

Today I find solace when I turn to my practice and work the tenets so I am reminded how impermanent it all really is. Life is always changing and all I can do is be present for what is there for me in any moment. If I hold on to the past or rush to some unknown future, I fail to live. Instead, I can choose to be here now and let the water rush over me. I simply shift with the moment that is before me and suddenly I find myself in alignment with the master plan!

  Not easy, for sure. Often we need to sit with others to help us see how this is possible. It is difficult to find our way alone, we need good tools to be so versatile… but versatility– or surrender is what is needed– and our ability to respond to what life is offering is directly related to the level of our overall happiness. The more I struggle with things not being as I would like, the more pain I am in. The more I awaken and sit with what is, even if what is–is pain, mourning, loss, happiness, success, failure, death, birth … the happier I am – because I am in alignment with nature. If I have faith that the divine is a much better artist then I could ever be I can see the amazing tapestry which has been created for me. If I choose a false sense of control I find myself lost in the failure and pain.

 

Here’s the thing: the more I am capable of maneuvering through the flow of life, like a bird or a fish, just riding the flow, not thinking, just gracefully responding to what is, then I am always in the right place with no fear of loss. When I can find the courage to let go of my fear, what I am offered is the ability to ride life in its fullest expression. I sat with my friend for a long time knowing that part of this awakening is experiencing the pain of resistance and the best I could do for her in the moment is let her be and keep holding love and faith in my heart trusting her own divinity would do the rest.

 

Paula Tursi is the founder of Reflections Center for Yoga & Conscious Living now located at 227 E 24th Street. Visit select Reflections Center events in November and win free classes. See our calendar pages for more details. For more information about Reflections Center, call 212-974-2288, email [email protected] or visit ReflectionsYoga.com.